Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
