dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
