WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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