he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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