I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And then my night got REAL pukey
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
