a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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