so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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