I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
