I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
