Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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