census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
