I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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