Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
