Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
