Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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