I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
