: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
