glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
