He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We have started to decorate penises.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I smell like Dick and happiness
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
