32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
