Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
