Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
