When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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