found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
