People with herpes should wear stickers.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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