get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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