so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
