Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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