please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
