dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
