I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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