She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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