You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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