god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
where does the pee come out of this thing
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
