awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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