Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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