Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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