i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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