i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
