my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
