If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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