HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
