No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
