That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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