Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
