we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
