Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
