how can u be prego again
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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