I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
