I showed him my bush... on skype.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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